Courage

"True courage is not the absence of fear -- but the willingness to proceed in spite of it." (anonymous)

Courage leads me to the door of my fear, and helps me to open it. Once I cross over the threshold, His grace floods me. He never fails. But I have to take that first step! He gives me what I need WHEN I need it. I have to have faith, and the desire to obey His will above mine.

I know from my own experiences, He's asked me to do some things that I've been scared to do. But the blessings that have come from doing those things has been tremendous! And once I took that first step, He was right there with me, supplying all of my needs.

I hope that as I practice submitting to God instead of being controlled by fear, that fear will become less and less prevalent in my life.  God is faithful.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 ESV)

Photo credit: federico stevanin

Shame vs. Encouragement

One day I was trying to "motivate" my daughter who was taking too long to finish her school work.  I was saying things like, "It's beautiful outside, and we're all waiting for you to finish so that we can go have fun out there!"  I said, "This is ridiculous.  You are taking WAY too long!"  It just got worse...her attitude and mine.  She looked at me stone-faced, and if anything, went slower.  I only got more frustrated.

I had recently been listening to someone talk about shame.  All of the sudden, it struck me like a brick to the head...I was putting SHAME on my child!  I was so disgusted at this reality.  That is NOT something I ever want to do to.  I was even using it in an effort to control her.  If I was being honest with myself, I knew that my response to the situation was not good to begin with, but when I realized the depth of it...wow.

It's interesting, because I actually really love to encourage people.  I feel like it's a gift that God has given me.  However, when I'm not walking according to the Spirit of God, my flesh does the exact opposite!  I don't build up, I tear down.  I distort the gifts He's given me.

A little while later, when we had moved on with the day, I told her that when we want to motivate someone, we should use good words and a kind voice.  We should say things like, "I KNOW you can do this!"  I went on to say that we shouldn't put people down and make them feel bad.  That doesn't help.  I told her that I was sorry for doing that to her.  All of the sudden her little chin started quivering, and she came and hugged me.

I don't think I realized how much I had hurt her until she did that.  She was expressionless while I had been putting the shame on her, and now at my asking forgiveness, she broke.  She released her feelings instead of shutting down.  It made me all the more never want to do that again!  I don't want my kids to close their hearts to me.  They may act like they are okay, but in reality they've grown callous.
            

I hate it when I sin against my children, but I am so thankful that when I do, I can repent.  I can ask them to forgive me.  Sometimes as parents we can overlook that very important step of asking our children for their forgiveness.  Perhaps because it requires humility.  It means we have to admit to them that we are not perfect...even though we're adults.  Ha!

You know what?  It's good for them to know that we are on this journey of life WITH them.  Then when they mess up, they don't feel like they need to hide from us...the big people who can't relate.  We need to display repentance and forgiveness to them.  Not only is it the right thing to do, but it's also how they will learn to do it.

Ever since then, as soon as I see myself going down that wrong "path of shame", I stop immediately.  I start to encourage.  And let me tell you, not only is it right, it's a whole lot more motivating!  I've been noticing lately how encouragement has become the language of my children as well, and it brings the biggest smile to my face.

Joy & Sorrow

"And still He seeks the fellowship of His people, and will send them both joy and sorrow to detach their hands from the things of this world and to attach those hands to Himself."
~ J.I. Packer

God has certainly used both joy and sorrow to bring me into closer intimacy with Him, and for that I am grateful.  He is perfect in His ways.  He knows all things and He loves me.  I know that He is for me and not against me.  If I can really believe this in the core of my being...KNOW this...then I can trust Him.  I can delight in Him.  I will walk in His ways.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV)


(Photo credit: prozac1)

Treading Water

I am pregnant.  The baby won't "be here" til October...but the baby is so here!  I am exhausted in more ways than one.  I've been pressing into Him, and He's been faithful to me.  It's not that He takes the exhaustion or the feelings away, but I've been able (for the most part) to walk by the Spirit and not fulfill the desires of my flesh.  It feels like I'm treading water.  But He's with me in the water...He won't let me drown!  He is strengthening me. 

A couple nights ago I did not sleep well at all.  I was caring for a couple of little boys who needed me.  And then I had to get up earlier than usual with BluEyes, which was very frustrating.  Does he not know what kind of night I've had?!  Of course not.  And I shouldn't take it out on him.  I prayed before my feet hit the floor, but hardly had I walked 10 steps, and I snapped at him.  Oh, Lord help me!  I do not want to be this way!

A moment later God opened my eyes to see a glimpse of His glory.  It was exactly what I needed to soften my heart and give me hope for the day.  This is what I saw out of my window:  

I called BluEyes to come and see.  I scooped him up.  We looked.  I kissed him.  Told him I loved him.  I started over.

I had felt like all those heavy clouds were over me.  But I decided to press into that strip in the distance...His glory!  As the day went on, I entered more and more into the light.  I chose to live there.  I was nice to my kids :)

What a gift, this picture was.  And you know what?  I would've missed it if BluEyes had not gotten up so early!  And honestly I don't think another hour of sleep would've done me any good.  This did.

I wrote this poem awhile ago, but it seems to be my prayer over and over!

A Mother's Prayer
Thank You for giving me
    strength for this day.
When I got up from bed
    I thought, "Lord, there's no way!
I'm too tired, too frustrated,
    to serve my family with love.
I want to overcome,
    I need Your strength from above!"
Now I can see,
    that You've answered my prayer.
I want to give You thanks,
    for meeting me there.
I forgot that Your Spirit
    isn't driven by my will.
When I'm tired and weak,
    You hold me together still.
My flesh doesn't display
    the power of Your grace,
It's Your Spirit in me strengthened,
    when I look to Your holy face!

(Rachel Ranae 8.12.10)

My Best Friend

"The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!"
(Habakkuk 3:19 Amplified Bible)

God had just given me strength that I could not mistake as my own.  Afterwards, I collapsed on the couch...weary and burdened.  He led me to that scripture, in that version, which I had not read before.  It was perfect.  It stirred praise in my heart.  I love when He speaks to me so specifically.  Then he gave me a song.  He knows how I need songs.  I played this one over and over until I could fall asleep.  He truly is my best friend.

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Be at Peace

   "Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life in fear.  Rather look at them with full hope that, as they arise, God, whose you are, will deliver you out of them.  He has kept you hitherto; do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand, He will bear you in His arms.
    Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow.  The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow, and every day.  Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.  Be at peace, then, put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations." -Frances De Sales

   "The Lord is my shepherd.  Not was, not may be, nor will be.  'The Lord is my shepherd,' is on Sunday, is on Monday, and is through every day of the week; is in January, is in December, and every month of the year; is at home, and is in China; is in peace, and is in war; in abundance, and in penury."- J. Hudson Taylor  (who spent the majority of his life as a missionary in China)

(Photo Credit: Engeni Dinev)

I read those quotations this morning in one of my favorite devotionals, Streams in the Desert.  I've been comforted by it's words many times.  I highly recommend it...whatever your "season"!

The Holding Place

In 2010, when God was stretching me so wide on the inside, it seemed as though I wasn't able to do a whole lot other than survive.  I felt as though my life was on hold, and the rest of the world just kept going.  But in reality much was happening, like a caterpillar in a chrysalis.  At that time I was waiting...waiting to come to life it seemed.

Yesterday I came across a portion of Scripture that I had underlined while in this holding place.

"You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth You will bring me up again.  You will increase my greatness and comfort me again.  My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to You; my soul also, which You have redeemed.  And my tongue will talk of your righteous help all the day long,"  (Psalm 71:20-21, 23-24 ESV)

I wrote the following poem during that time as well.  As I look back I am amazed at how He would put so much hope to me, in such a seemingly dry place.   He is good!

Journey
You take us on a journey,
A path filled with sweetness and sorrow.
Sometimes we want this life to stop,
But then here comes tomorrow.

The victories aren't always won swift,
But they're victories the same.
The sorrows seem like they will never end,
But they do-and it's joy that remains!

On the treacherous parts of this path,
We've discovered how weak we are.
But this is such a good thing,
We can see You've taken us far.

You're producing in us,
Something worth far more than gold.
Praise You, Lord Jesus,
It's Your hand we hold.

You're faithful to restore us,
When the testing is done.
But we're not the same...
We're better-You've won!

(Rachel Ranae 6.23.10)


(Photo credits:  1 Christian Meyn, 2 dan)

I Will Have Them

The other night I was looking at some photos of a girl I used to know, in these amazing far away places she had traveled to.  A part of me wished I could travel the world and see those places with my own eyes.  I can't.  I don't have the money, or the time, or that kind of freedom!

I happened to immediately go from those photos, to mine.  I saw the precious faces of the children so dear to my heart.  At once the beauty in those eyes was just as amazing to me.  Instantly, joy filled my heart.  I have been given the gift of being a mother.  When I can see the beauty in the work I've been given, it takes my breath away.

Those little people, whom God chose to form in me...I will have them.  I would choose them again.  The wonders of the rest of the world can wait.  I will see all the beauty He has put around me, right where I am.

I will not diminish the magnitude of mothering my children.  I won't look at it as something to get through so that I can get on with my life!  This is my life!  Investing in them is an extremely important ministry that I have been given by God.  I serve Him, by loving them.

"Homes are tremendously powerful places, because they are where people come from.

You do not go home to hide from the world, you go home to change it."  - Rachel Jankovic

My heart is happily at home.
I look forward to welcoming another little person into it this fall!

Moms...Read this book!

I just finished a book that I wish I could buy for every mom!  I might just have to make my husband read it too.  It's called Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic...(he can read it on his iPad so no one will see the title).

It's an easy read, but full of richness.  It's not a book of lofty ideas that are hard to apply.  She gives her own real life examples, which I really enjoyed.

"Sometimes all we really need is a fresh perspective on our circumstances.  We need someone to open a window and let a breeze blow into the room that we didn't realize had gotten so stuffy.


This book is about hardship and humor, sacrifice and satisfaction.


This is not a tender reminiscence from someone who had children so long ago that she only remembers the sweet parts.


I didn't write this book because mothering little ones is easy for me.  I wrote it because it isn't.   I know you need encouragement because I do too." ~ Loving the Little Years


At the time of writing this book, she had five kids 5 and under!  Three in diapers!
You have time to read this.  It's short and sweet.  Soul-searching and practical.