Treading Water

I am pregnant.  The baby won't "be here" til October...but the baby is so here!  I am exhausted in more ways than one.  I've been pressing into Him, and He's been faithful to me.  It's not that He takes the exhaustion or the feelings away, but I've been able (for the most part) to walk by the Spirit and not fulfill the desires of my flesh.  It feels like I'm treading water.  But He's with me in the water...He won't let me drown!  He is strengthening me. 

A couple nights ago I did not sleep well at all.  I was caring for a couple of little boys who needed me.  And then I had to get up earlier than usual with BluEyes, which was very frustrating.  Does he not know what kind of night I've had?!  Of course not.  And I shouldn't take it out on him.  I prayed before my feet hit the floor, but hardly had I walked 10 steps, and I snapped at him.  Oh, Lord help me!  I do not want to be this way!

A moment later God opened my eyes to see a glimpse of His glory.  It was exactly what I needed to soften my heart and give me hope for the day.  This is what I saw out of my window:  

I called BluEyes to come and see.  I scooped him up.  We looked.  I kissed him.  Told him I loved him.  I started over.

I had felt like all those heavy clouds were over me.  But I decided to press into that strip in the distance...His glory!  As the day went on, I entered more and more into the light.  I chose to live there.  I was nice to my kids :)

What a gift, this picture was.  And you know what?  I would've missed it if BluEyes had not gotten up so early!  And honestly I don't think another hour of sleep would've done me any good.  This did.

I wrote this poem awhile ago, but it seems to be my prayer over and over!

A Mother's Prayer
Thank You for giving me
    strength for this day.
When I got up from bed
    I thought, "Lord, there's no way!
I'm too tired, too frustrated,
    to serve my family with love.
I want to overcome,
    I need Your strength from above!"
Now I can see,
    that You've answered my prayer.
I want to give You thanks,
    for meeting me there.
I forgot that Your Spirit
    isn't driven by my will.
When I'm tired and weak,
    You hold me together still.
My flesh doesn't display
    the power of Your grace,
It's Your Spirit in me strengthened,
    when I look to Your holy face!

(Rachel Ranae 8.12.10)