I'll Remember Her

Yesterday SweetHeart and I went to a "Girls in the Garden" gathering. We brought my mother-in-law, and my mom's mother, who are wonderful gifts from God. I'm so glad that my children have them. I didn't really let myself think about the fact that "someone was missing". I just delighted in who was there. But at the end of our time at the garden, there was a program. Someone announced that a mother and daughter would be singing, "Remember Me". Tears came down my face before they even started singing it. That song is all too familiar to me. After my mom died, my boyfriend and I made a slideshow video to play at her funeral. That was the song we put in it.

I feel like God wants me to really remember my mom. Not just remember her mentally, but let myself open the chambers of my heart that miss, that love, that desire.  I don't do that often. He's been providing little opportunities for me to do that. It actually feels good.

My mom passed away on April 24th, 2000. I was 19 years old. Thankfully my best friend who would become my husband, was with me through it all. She's not a stranger to him. I am glad for that. I remember sitting on her bed with her, listening to a cd that my boyfriend and I had made for her (Fernando Ortega & Bebo Norman were on there). She loved it. She asked me if I thought I'd marry him...I think she knew what I'd say. We were engaged 3 months after she died.

My mom loved to worship God with song. I can picture her swaying back and forth, tambourine in one hand, the other raised straight up to Him. I'm just like her when it comes to loving Jesus, and singing my heart out to Him!

I lived with my mom from the ages of 15-19. I am so thankful to have had that time with her, however I never really reached "friend" status with her. That is an unfulfilled desire of mine...to be friends with my mom. She loved to sit and have coffee and just talk. About life. About Jesus. I love to do the same. One of the things that I have of hers is a little wooden table that sits in front of my kitchen window. I can just picture us sitting there together, having coffee, her grandchildren running around. She would've LOVED being a grandma!!! I miss not sharing their precious lives with her.

So those are my random thoughts this Mother's Day morning. It feels good to just remember and think of those few things. I love my mom, and I genuinely believe that I will see her again.

Here's the video we played at her funeral:
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