My Own Worst Enemy

Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy! I lie to myself about how good or bad I am. I torture myself about what others may think of me..."Did they understand me? Do they like me? What do they see in me? Hopefully only the best of me!"

Do I want to be a vessel of God's love and encouragement to others? Yes!
Do I want others to admire me, or to see Jesus in me? See Jesus!
Do I want to see the reality about who I am, with Jesus, and work out my salvation? Yes!

Then I must FIX my eyes on Him! When I'm consumed with Him I don't have time to stare at myself in complete confusion, frustration, and despair.

Wondering what others think...
First of all, who knows what others think? I am not a mind reader. So if my imagination is what's guiding me, I'm bound to be misguided to begin with. More importantly, I don't live to please people. I live to please the Lord! People are so different and so fickle. Living so that others will like me is like being on a terrible roller coaster ride. One moment I'm puffed up feeling proud and self-righteous, then the next, plunging into worry and anxiety. There's nothing good about it, because it is not God's way.

When I spend my days acknowledging the Lord with thanksgiving, singing songs of praise, meditating on His word, I'm actually doing what I was made to do. Then, without much thought of myself, I will be a vessel of His love, uplifting others. Lord willing, they will see Jesus in me, and desire Him. I will see the truth about Jesus, and the truth about myself. Then with a humble, hopeful heart, I will submit to Him in repentance and bask in the glory of His love!

Such freedom! Such peace!

And even if I do all this...
People may misunderstand me and dislike me. Some will understand me, and still not like me. I have to be okay with that. That is tied to pride and I need to let it go!

"Deliver me from my enemies, O LORD! I have fled to You for refuge! Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God! Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground!" - Psalm 143:9-11 ESV