Ready or Not!

The other night my father-in-law asked me if I was "ready for number 5". I said, "Well...ready or not, he's coming!" I smiled and laughed. I don't feel like there's really any way to be totally ready for having a baby, and I'm not just talking about labor. Of course there's a few practical things I can do, and I will. But with each child there are many unknowns, and so much is out of my control. Even the things I'm pretty sure will happen, I can't prepare for.

The next morning I was browsing some of my earlier posts on this blog. A couple in particular stood out to me, and helped me focus. To read, click below:

"He Sustains Us"
"The Future"

Really, my plan is to trust the Lord and walk in patience and love as this transition takes place. I am genuinely thrilled to meet this little boy I feel wriggling around inside me all the time. I can't wait to see his sweet face and kiss him all over! I'm trying to focus on that, knowing that God will be with me, and strengthen me just like He always has...and currently is!

I guess just like anything in life, I'm preparing by keeping my eyes on Jesus!

Productive or Just Busy?

I want to be productive, not just busy...there's a big difference! The other day I was vacuuming my couch with the hose attachment, and then proceeded immediately to vacuum my rug. All of the sudden I realized that I was holding the hose in one hand, while pushing the vacuum with the other. That was pretty pointless. The main vacuum doesn't suck anything up unless the hose is attached to it. Basically, I was busy accomplishing nothing! Or you could say, busy wasting time. Why? In that moment I was distracted. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. My mind wasn't clear.

I don't want to live my life like that. Not for myself, my husband, children, friends...whoever God brings into my life! I want to be productive in the life that God has for me. I want to be intentional and focused.

I am the mother to five children (one not out of the womb yet...but I feel his presence :) For me, sometimes the most productive thing I could be doing is sitting with one of my kids, looking them in the eyes, and listening to their thoughts. Other times it's to scrub the kitchen floor and fold lots of laundry. Maybe it's to be still, rest, or pray. It could be to drop what I'm doing to visit a friend, write a letter, or deliver a cup of coffee. There's no specific "list of productivity". To me, it really comes down to knowing the Lord, and walking in accordance with His Spirit.

Productivity can't always be measured, or seen with our eyes. If I fold a bunch of laundry and put it away, I will notice how clean my laundry room is and how full the drawers are. On the other hand, if I sit down and read to my kids for 30 minutes, no one will actually see that I've done anything. However I will have just invested in my children's hearts and minds.

When I looked up synonyms for productive, the words fertile, fruitful, and effective were listed. I want my heart to be fertile ground to the seeds that God plants, and my actions to bear good fruit. I desire to be effective in His kingdom today. I want to be aware of all the opportunities He has for me, whether seemingly insignificant, or bigger than I could imagine! I want to be productive in things seen, but more importantly, things invisible.

"...what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" -2 Cor. 4:18 NIV

Avoiding the Rush

I've been finding it helpful to sketch a plan out for my day.
Little tip that works for me: Plan the day backwards.

I start with what time I want to be having dinner, and then work towards the morning. I have found that doing this helps me be realistic with what I can accomplish. When I see what I want to do, and then lay it out in an order of time, it helps guide my day.

I have been trying to minimize my list of things to do so that I am not rushed, and have time to enjoy things with my kids. I have also learned that it's okay not to accomplish everything I've planned. I am not a slave to a list! The list is for my convenience. I hold my plans loosely, so that if an opportunity arises that I didn't see coming, but I think would be good to do, I can enjoy doing that...no guilt.

Yesterday was a good example. I made a list that morning. I knew what I wanted to accomplish. The kids and I were about to head off to the library and then the grocery store to get a few things. But then Grandma showed up. Oh, how we love Grandma! Because I had already thought about the day, I knew what I could switch around, and what I could let go of. I asked her if she'd like to try a new coffee place we'd found, go to this cute shop to look for a picture frame, and then go to the store. She said yes, and we had so much fun...especially at the grocery store!

Grandma with the kids

This grocery store, which we don't usually go to, has miniature carts. The kids just love this! I've never taken all of them there, and let them each have a cart. But we weren't in a hurry...and Grandma was with us. They just so happened to be passing out samples everywhere that day. It was like a carnival.

Anyways, it was so much fun. We enjoyed spending extra time with Grandma. And we wouldn't have been able to do this, or at least enjoy doing it, if we had been rushed!

The Caves of My Soul

Our air conditioning went out on one of the hottest days of summer! We were tired of sitting around the house, but didn't really want to go outside in the heat either. So we decided that it would be a good day to visit a cave! It's 50 degrees year round :) We drove over an hour to go to "Cave of the Mounds". The kids were super excited!

I don't think I've ever been in a cave before. It was really interesting. However, at one point it got very narrow and closed in. I had no idea I would feel a little claustrophobic! I had to talk myself through it. Like, "It'll be fine. It's a tour. I'm sure I couldn't get stuck, or we won't have to crawl through anything. If the electricity goes out, they probably have a generator or something. I'll be fine." I was reminded of Dori from Nemo, "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming." I kept moving forward, knowing everything would be okay...even if I didn't feel okay! I would make it through.

My husband had recorded this exact part of our little journey. Here's a short clip. You can hear me say, "Oh my." Yeah...that's when I started quoting Dori in my head :)



I couldn't help but think about places like this in my soul. These deep, dark, unknown places. Unknown to me, anyways. But my Guide knows them all too well. He knows exactly what's down there. And He's not scared. He wants me to go there with Him...to trust Him. He's so gentle and kind in His leading. He patiently and lovingly walks me through the places of my soul where He wants to make me whole. Whether it's a wound that needs healing, or a sin that must be overcome. He's there. I have to trust Him. I have to be brave and follow Him. Otherwise I will get lost inside myself. He is light, and without Him I can't see.

a picture from our adventure in the cave

That same day I read a prayer that hangs on my wall. I had written it out and framed it for my husband for his birthday...back when I was 19 years old.  It comes from "My Utmost for His Highest". It says:

"O Lord, You are the God of the early mornings, the God of the late nights, the God of the mountain peaks, and the God of the sea. But, my God, my soul has horizons further away than those of early mornings, deeper darkness than the nights of earth, higher peaks than any mountain peaks, greater depths than any sea in nature. You who are the God of all these, be my God. I cannot reach to the heights or to the depths; there are motives I cannot discover, dreams I cannot realize. My God, search me."

Facebook Version of Jesus

Yesterday my husband was on Facebook and saw that a bunch of people were wishing his dad a "Happy Birthday". That's sweet and all...but it wasn't his birthday! His Facebook shows his birthday as July 1st, but it's actually June 1st. Jokingly, my husband said, "Well, I guess he'll find out who his real friends are!"

This was a perfect example of something that has been floating around in my mind lately. Sometimes we have connections with people through Facebook (that we don't actually spend much time with personally), and we kind of build a picture of who they are from what's on their page. We take these bits and pieces, photos and quotes, add our own perspectives, and form an image of them in our minds. Perhaps some of what we think is right, but we can also be way off.

We can also take bits and pieces of what we know about Jesus, and then fill in the gaps with who we think He is or should be. We don't always want to conform our lives to Him, but rather fit Him comfortably into our lives. However, unless we really know Him...believe what the Word of God says about Him, and walk this life with Him...we can be worshiping a "Facebook" version of Jesus.

I don't want to make my own version of Jesus. I'm sure I've done this, and I have to continue to be in His word and believe what it says...no matter what I feel or think, or other people tell me. I want to worship the one true God. I don't want to make an idol and name Him Jesus!

I want to know the real Jesus who laid down His life for me, and rose again to give me life abundantly! I want to follow Him, trust Him, and glorify Him. I want to know His voice, His promptings, His plans for me. The Bible says, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." (Eph. 2:10 ESV) I don't want to live my life and just add "Jesus" to it, I want to live surrendered to His will for me. I want to live the reason I was created!

If I want to live for Him, I have to know Him...have a real relationship with Him.

photo credit